Understanding Enron

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you all share the milk.

APPLIED COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

SOUTH AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you into the army.

EUROPEAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply. If there aren't any, they invent some. They pay you not to milk the cows. They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the drain. They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.